Tuesday Thoughts
Sept 12
Many replied to a text last week. Last week I explained that we know the Golden Rule, but we need to learn what I call the “Golden Corollary,” which is “Give yourself the same grace that you would give to others.”
Forgiveness is key to this.
Some key points about forgiveness.
(Much of this is from Lewis B. Smedes, Forgive & Forget?)
Forgiveness is letting go of the desire for vengeance.
According to Vine, the word forgive implies to “let go” or to dismiss or release the wrong.
Paul wrote, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord (Romans 12:17,19).
“Forgiveness is not the alternative to revenge because it is soft and gentle; it is a viable alternative because it is the only creative route to less unfairness.”(Smedes)
To sum it up:
Forgiveness is letting go of the belief that I have the RIGHT to make someone pay for what they did.
- It is NOT excusing the wrong or minimizing it and certainly IS NOT FORGETTING.
- You can forgive and still require accountability.
- You can forgive and put down consequences.
- Forgiveness does not necessarily bring reconciliation. (Forgiveness is a one-way process; reconciliation is a 2-way.)
- Similarly, forgiveness does not mean that you must or can trust the person again. (The offending party must seek to rebuild trust.)
- Forgiveness may not restore life as it used to be.
- Forgiveness is NOT EXCUSING THE WRONG nor ALLOWING IT TO CONTINUE.
- We must intervene to stop continued abuse or wrongdoing.
- Forgiveness is NOT being soft to injustice or harm being done.
- **Lewis B. Smedes, “Forgive & Forget?” is excellent.
On learning to forgive oneself…
“I think that if God forgives us,
we must forgive ourselves.
Otherwise, it is almost like
setting up ourselves as a
higher tribunal than Him.”
—C. S. Lewis.
Not forgiving oneself is arrogance according to Lewis.
How do we live out forgiving ourselves?
The Apostle Paul is perhaps the best example.
He clearly thought of his sins as an ugly fact.
“I was a violent man, a persecutor of the church.”
(Acts 22:4, 26:11; 1 Cor 15:9; Gal 1:13; Phil 3:6; 1 Tim 1:13).
He used HARSH terms to describe his actions,
BUT he did not live in regretful thinking,
“if only I hadn’t done this … if only I’d done that.”
Rather he thought
“I am so guilty! but even more, SO FORGIVEN!”
Paul was so effective in his faith partially because
he did not live in guilt nor regret.
He lived in grace.
“But God” is one way to sum up Paul’s life!
“But God is so rich in mercy,
and He loved us so much,
that even though we were dead
because of our sins,
He gave us life.”
Eph 2:4-5 NLT