Golden corollary
We live in strange times.
In some ways we are so spoiled, entitled.
The comforts of the modern age with so much available to us immediately
make us often think along the lines of
“I shouldn’t have to wait or be inconvenienced“ or “I deserve … “
Another part of entitlement that we have all been guilty of at least once or twice:
When someone else does something outside the rules,
we want enforcement.
If I do the same thing,
I want exemption.
In contrast to that,
we also can BE TOO HARD on ourselves.
Some people need to learn ‘to give themselves the same grace that they would give others.
I call this the ‘Golden Corollary.’
= = = = =
I was attending a conference with a friend. I was driving, we were talking, and I missed a turn, so we had to do just 5-6 minutes of back tracking. For some reason I found myself mentioning my faux pas a few times at the conference. At some point I stopped and thought it through.
“If instead my friend was driving and we made the same mistake, when would I have let it go? As soon as we found the place to turn around! Would I have mentioned it at all? No! In fact I might not even remember it happened. Why did I feel like I had to confess a non consequential mistake that no one would care about? Because I had not learned to give myself the same grace as I give others.”
= = = =
If you tend to hold onto guilt or shame,
Here is a good exercise:
What if a good friend (sibling, child, etc.) was in a similar situation…
What would you tell them?
This is probably fairer, more compassionate, and more balanced than your typical response.
It is probably much closer in content and tone of voice to
what our Friend and Savior would say
than the harsh tone of self-condemnation
that some people seem to battle.
And yes for some mistakes, you might tell a friend,
“You really messed up. You need to apologize and make it right…. “
but you would still do it with a tone of love and compassion.
They would still know that you were for them not against them.
= = =
If you tend to keep thinking about mistakes
long after others have forgotten them,
you need to practice the
Golden Corollary—
“Do unto yourself with the
same grace you give to others.’